


April 27th

by GraySonOfGotham



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Brotherly Affection, Crack Treated Seriously, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Domestic Fluff, Family Drama, Family Feels, Flashbacks, Heavy Angst, Idiots in Love, In honor of Jason's death day, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Jason Todd-centric, Kid Fic, M/M, Meddling, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Mpreg, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Dick, Post Mpreg, Reconciliation, References to Depression, Resurrected Jason Todd, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Sacrifice, Slice of Life, Vaguely set in Omegaverse, oblivious Jason, separated parents, so much pining, this is going to hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-10 18:12:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18665686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GraySonOfGotham/pseuds/GraySonOfGotham
Summary: Jason Todd died on April 27th when he was fifteen.Another fifteen years later, on the same day, Jason Todd wakes up inside a coffin, and Jason's kid was on the other side of the coffin.The day only got weirder from there.(And things were already weird before.)





	April 27th

Jason woke up to pitch black. His arms were trapped at his sides, and his surroundings felt extremely constricting.

He could not move. Almost immediately, Jason’s heartbeat sped up, and he squeezed an arm up, feeling around. He was trapped, lying down, in a box of sorts. A couple inches on either side of his hands, a couple inches above his face was all the space he had.

 _No, no, no, no_. It had to be a nightmare. It _had_ to be a nightmare. Jason found it hard to breathe. He could not _breathe_. His blunt fingernails scratched at the wall, the barrier, the obstacle in front of him, searching desperately for some opening or some source of light.

He could not be buried alive.

Not again.

Just then, the top of the coffin popped open, and Jason _breathed._ He gasped like he was a drowning man, sucking sweet, cold, morning hair into his lungs like it was the only thing he knew how to do.

“DADDY!”

Just as he barely got his bearings, he had the breath knocked out of him again when a small ball of energy tackled him.

Jason instinctively caught the squirming child and then held him at arms’ length, still taking long, shaky breaths. He stared hard at the chubby faced boy, with floppy black hair and bright blue eyes.

“Daddy?” the little boy asked. “Are you okay?” he asked, grinning goofily, his front two teeth missing.

“Oh god,” Jason croaked, pulling the kid in roughly, and holding him close. “Chars, baby.”

“Ouch,” the little boy said, his chubby cheek squished against Jason’s. “Yur face is spi’y, staaaaaph.”

Jason moved his face, hiding it in his boy’s shoulder instead, taking deep breaths and hope that his heartbeat would calm down soon.

Suddenly, he heard yelling coming from somewhere down the hall. “KELLY! KELLY?” Jason’s heart plummeted at the sound of the voice. “Damian Wayne, where did you put my son?!” There was a soft grunt in the hallway as angry footsteps grew nearer.

Jason held his son tighter to his chest, squeezing his eyes shut and just clutching him like his life depended on it. Jason did not want to face the owner of the angry voice. Not today, not this week, and especially not now.

“Kell- oh, there you are.” The footsteps stopped in front of Jason’s open bedroom door. Then, the voice became colder. “Kelly, c’mon. We’re going home.”

The little boy, _Kelly_ , struggled to push Jason’s face away. “But Papa! Uncle Dami said I could stay with Daddy this weekend!” he whined. “I haven’t seen Daddy in two months!”

“Kelly,” the cold voice warned. “Let’s go. You’re not supposed to be here. I’m going to have a long talk with your uncle Damian.”

Jason forced himself to let go of his son. He pulled back, his son’s hands falling to his sides. Jason could not see clearly due to his tears, and he did not want Dick or his son to see him crying.

“Go ahead, baby,” he whispered. “You can come visit me some other time, yeah?”

“But Daddy…” _Kelly_ whispered sadly.

Jason wiped hard at his eyes, trying to pass it off as just waking up. He finally looked up at his son and cleared his throat. “S’okay, champ,” he said. “C’mon, give me a hug.” _Kelly_ leaned down and gave Jason a hug, his arms wrapping around his neck, and Jason squeezed his eyes shut again, shutting back tears. “See you soon, Charlie, ‘kay? Maybe I’ll take you out for ice cream or something next week.”

Charlie pulled back, frowning. “Okay,” he whispered. Then, he climbed off of Jason slowly, stepped out of the coffin, and ran to the door.

Dick grabbed Charlie’s hand, and he pressed his lips together tightly. Jason could not look at him, but he knew that Dick was looking at his pathetic state.

“You’re either a vampire or masochistic, I can’t decide which,” he said snippily. Then, he turned his head to glare at the approaching person from down the hall. “Dami, I expected more of you.”

“Grayson, Charles is Todd’s son too,” Damian grumbled, rubbing a spot on the back of his head from where Dick shoved him into the wall. “He hasn’t seen him for two months.”

“Well, you could have _asked_ , and I would have considered it,” Dick snapped. “Not going behind my back and lying to me like that.”

“I didn’t _lie_ ,” Damian grumbled. “I said I would watch Charles for the weekend, did I not? I planned to.”

“You didn’t tell me _he_ was staying at your house.”

Damian scoffed. “Grayson, his apartment burned down a few weeks ago. Do you have no sympathy?”

Dick did not respond. Instead, he cast another glare at Jason, who sat in the open coffin, his legs pulled up to his chest, staring at the wall. “C’mon, Kelly. Let’s go home.”

Charlie frowned, but did not protest. “Bye Uncle Dami… Bye-bye, Daddy…”

Damian sighed and patted Charlie’s head stiffly. “Some other weekend, then,” he told the 5-year-old boy.

When the front door of Damian’s house finally clicked shut, Damian rounded on Jason.

“You could have fought for him, you know,” he said, his voice tinged with obvious annoyance. “He was already here. All you had to do was _ask_.”

Jason shook his head. “I can’t do that,” he said. “Not with Charlie watching.”

“Instead, you showed your kid that you weren’t even willing to put up any semblance of a fight to see him for _one weekend_ , in two months,” Damian spat. “You’re pathetic, Todd.”

Jason glanced over and gave Damian a weak smile. “So you tell me every day, baby bat.” Slowly, he pushed himself up, stepping out of the coffin. “What’s with the coffin anyway?” he asked. “I did not appreciate waking up and feeling like I was reliving a nightmare.”

Damian rolled his eyes. “It was supposed to be a joke. And I even wrangled your son here as an apology. But you let him slip away.”

Jason kicked the coffin shut with a grim expression. “Oh. It’s the 27th already, isn’t it?”

Damian glared at him. “Yes.”

“That was rhetorical, Dami,” Jason said, walking over to the drawers. He grabbed a fresh t-shirt from the top drawer and shucked off of the sweaty one on his back. When he looked back and saw that Damian was still standing in the doorway, glaring at him, Jason frowned. “Did you want something else?”

“I don’t understand you,” Damian said. “You haven’t seen Charles in two months. You _wanted_ to see him. You told me so a few days ago, which was why I told Grayson I’d watch Charles for the weekend!”

“You should have known he would find out,” Jason said with a soft sigh. “Thanks, kid,” he said, gently knocking Damian’s shoulder as he passed. “I appreciate the sentiment, but I’ve accepted it already. He’s never going to let me see him for more than a couple of hours without supervision. He certainly won’t trust me with Charlie for an entire weekend.”

Damian let out a low growl, and he followed Jason. They got to the kitchen, where Jason blinked in shock to see that the entire table had been set (for three), and there was a steaming pile of chocolate chip pancakes in the middle.

“You… made pancakes,” Jason said slowly. “Charlie’s favorite.”

“Tt, and _your_ favorite, you inane buffoon,” Damian said, sitting down across from Jason. “Happy fucking death anniversary, Todd. You’ve fucked everything up already, and it’s eight in the morning.”

Jason smiled, picking up his fork. “I love morning Damian,” he said cheerily, ignoring the subtle yet painful stabbing accusations from the younger man. “He cooks, and he grouches. How’d you manage to get me in the coffin anyway, last night?”

“Not easily,” Damian grumbled, taking two pancakes for himself. “Took a hell of a lot of sleeping pills.”

“Dude, you drugged me?”

“I wouldn’t say _drugged_ ,” Damian said, lightly dusting powdered sugar on his pancakes. He took a slice of lemon and sprinkled the juice on them as well. “It would take nearly the whole bottle of pills to drug you. Just knocked you out for the night. Besides, you should thank you. You haven’t got a decent night’s sleep since you came back and decided to crash at my house again.”

“Oh, so you heard?”

“The screaming?” Damian snorted. “My room’s next door to yours, Todd. Yes, I heard you screaming.”

“Sorry,” Jason said, cutting a piece off his chocolate chip pancakes and dredging them through a lake of syrup. “I get nightmares sometimes.”

“Sometimes is an understatement,” Damian said under his breath. “So is nightmares.”

Jason ignored him. He had gotten used to the younger man’s snark and sass. Though Jason had only officially lived with Damian for two weeks, and they were not even consecutive weeks, they had long since gotten over their differences and had formed an unlikely friendship.

Jason had gotten so comfortable around Damian, and he became one of the select few people that Jason was willing to open up to. That list was short – very, very short. It consisted of a total four people, including Damian.

So Damian knew it all.

In fact, Jason was confident enough to say that Damian knew as much about Jason as Dick did, maybe even more, seeing that he and Dick have spoken only a handful of times in the past four years.

“Are you working today?” Jason asked, changing the subject. Damian glared at him for doing so, but he reluctantly went along with it.

“I am,” he said. “Only half the day. Just attending some meetings in the morning. Drake finally found his own place, so he’s moving out of the penthouse this morning,” Damian said.

“Oh. Maybe I’ll go help him,” Jason said thoughtfully. He honestly did not want to spend his Saturday morning moving heavy boxes, but Jason knew that he had to keep himself busy, today especially.

“You probably should,” Damian said, thinking along the exact same lines. “Since you dismissed the distraction I so kindly provided you with.”

“Charlie is not a distraction, Dami.”

“Today, anything to keep your mind busy is going to be a good distraction, Todd,” Damian said.

“Why?” Jason asked cheekily. “What’s so special about today?”

Damian gave him an unimpressed look.

“Oh, Dami,” he said. “I’ve gotten over my death for _years_ now. Today’s no biggie!”

“That’s what you said last year,” Damian said flatly. “I found you lying in a bathtub of wine, asleep.”

“So, I fell asleep taking a bath and drinking a glass of wine that spilled! Big deal,” Jason said, his smile wavering.

“You’ve been stubbornly sober for four years, Todd. You weren’t drinking that wine. I know what you were doing.”

“Trying to find a loophole in my promise to give up alcohol? I was trying to absorb it through osmosis.”

Damian gave him a dirty glare. “You know what you wanted to do, and I know what you wanted to do.”

“Osmosis, baby bat. Fish do it all the time.”

Damian scoffed. “Tt, just eat your damn pancakes.”

~

_Three years._

_That was how long their relationship lasted._

_Jason always thought it was ironic that Dick’s most serious relationship was not his longest. He dated Barbara on and off for nearly four years, yet he and Jason only lasted three._

_Jason had to admit though, he knew he was to blame for the falling apart of their relationship in the end._

_Dick had warned him. Dick had given him countless chances to get sober, to get back on his feet. Jason might have taken them for granted, and in the end, between his son Charlie and his drunken boyfriend, Dick took a pick._

_Jason did not blame him for it._

_They had only been dating for about a year when Charlie came into the picture. Jason was twenty-four, and Dick was twenty-six. It was after a very successful drug bust together between the Red Hood and Nightwing, and they managed to track down every last ounce of the drug._

_They ended up at their apartment, in their bed, and in their giddiness, did not bother with condoms._

_Several weeks later, Dick started getting sick. Dick was mad when he found out he was pregnant. He was extremely mad. He was twenty-six years old, in his prime, at the peak of his vigilante career, and now he was pregnant. Dick had raged at Jason for days on end, and after a few days of unreasonable screaming, Jason finally snapped and yelled back at Dick._

_“If you don’t want the kid, fine! Just stop your fucking whining and be a fucking adult about it, Dick!”_

_Dick had shut down after Jason yelled that at him. He turned and walked out of their apartment and he did not come back. Jason found out later that he spent the night at the Manor._

_The next morning, Jason gets a text from Dick._

**I don’t want it.**

_And that was it. Jason, after a night of restless pacing and several cups of coffee, finally got his answer. He collapsed onto the couch, and he stared at the wall, contemplating for a long time._

_Dick did not want their kid. And despite that Jason had screamed the night before, Jason_ did _want the kid. Jason wondered whether he should stop caring about his pride and go beg Dick to carry the baby until term, and Jason would take full responsibility._

_But then, around noon, Jason got another text from Dick._

**I don’t want anything to do with you either. We’re done.**

_Jason was not sure whether or not Dick was serious. Dick’s temper was something to be reckoned with. Not many people knew about Dick’s fiery temper, but he had one that he hid under smiles and jokes. When Dick got angry, he had a hard time calming down, and he usually made some rash decisions in his anger._

_Jason did not know if this was one of Dick’s rash decisions or if Dick was honestly breaking up with him. Jason gathered up his dignity to ask._

_Jason’s response came almost immediately._

**I want you out of my apartment by noon tomorrow.**

_It was the first night that Jason drank an entire bottle of vodka by himself. He woke up on the couch the next morning, two hours from “noon”. Jason wanted to wait for Dick to come back and have a conversation face to face, but he was extremely hungover and everything was too much. So, he grabbed a bag, packed a couple changes of clothes, grabbed his phone, charger, and took some painkillers before leaving._

_Jason spent the night in one of Red Hood’s safe houses, waiting for Dick to call or to text. It never came. Jason drank himself to sleep again that night._

_The cold silence between them lasted for two weeks. The only person in the family that Jason talked to was Tim, and it was only a couple of times. Red Hood did not go out on the streets at night, mostly because he was too hungover or drunk._

_Jason knew it was a very bad idea for him to be turning to alcohol, and so much alcohol, during this time. But he did not want to stop. He wanted to be the reckless one, the rash one, for once._

_Then, one fateful Friday morning, Jason gets a text from someone he never expected to get a text from. Hell, he did not even have the kid’s number._

**Did Grayson really break up with you.**

_Jason stared at the text for a long time before responding. He wanted to tell the brat to butt out of his business, but he was curious as to why Damian was coming to him for confirmation. Damian had always been closer to Dick._

**I have reason to believe Grayson has a new boyfriend. Name is Kelly Bullock. Grayson’s friend from the gym. Alpha, human. Not a meta, involved in vigilantism, or have any kind of special abilities. Came around the Manor for dinner last night with Dick.**

_Jason’s felt a rush of… something. He was not sure if he was angry or distraught. All he did know was that his fingers were twitching for the neck of a bottle of strong alcohol._

_Immediately following the text with information on Dick’s new boyfriend, Damian sends him another text._

**Grayson is keeping the baby. Do something.**

_This text was followed by a surge of hope. Jason was hopeful. He could get Dick back. He could get Dick_ and _his kid back._

_So Jason cleaned up, shaved, showered, and dressed nicely. Then, he bought a dozen roses and drove to their apartment. Dick opened the door, and immediately looked displeased upon seeing Jason._

_“I’m sorry,” Jason blurted out. “I’m so sorry, Dickie. I know I’ve been a horrible alpha, and I swear I’ll be so much better if you just give me another chan-”_

_Dick hugged him before Jason could say anything else. Jason was so shocked, he could not get the rest of his apology out. They just ended up hugging each other tightly in the doorway, the roses lay on the ground at their feet, forgotten._

_They talked about it for a long time afterwards, what they planned to do now that they decided to raise the kid together. It was not an easy conversation to have. There were a lot of tense moments and many tears._

_In the end, Dick gave up his day-time job as a police officer, and he gave up Nightwing._

_A week passed since they got back together, and everything seemed to be going perfectly. Jason still drank, but significantly less each night. At the time, he had not thought of it as an addiction. He believed himself to be too strong to succumb to something as simple as alcohol._

_One night, however, Jason was thinking about Damian’s text regarding Dick’s supposed “boyfriend”. Jason had yet to ask Dick directly about the truth, but Jason did not think Damian would approach Jason for help unless it was serious. Could Dick really have gotten into a relationship with someone else just a few days after their break up?_

_Jason did not think Dick would do that so easily, unless he had already gotten to know the person really well. And how else does one get close to a gym buddy? Jason drank heavily that night, the first night that week._

_After that, a couple times a week, Jason drank. A lot. He hid it from Dick pretty well. On those nights, he usually crashed on the couch, and Dick would think nothing more of it._

_Nine months passed quickly. Nearing their two year anniversary (they agreed to not count those two weeks as an “official” breakup), Dick gave birth to a beautiful baby boy._

_“What do you want to name him, Jay?” Dick had asked tiredly, his hair plastered to his forehead, still breathing tiredly._

_“I… I like Charlie,” Jason whispered, his own eyes filled with tears. He had a son. He had a_ son _._

_“Charlie?” Dick asked. “Hm, I like it too. Charles John Todd Grayson.”_

_“Perfect,” Jason said, bringing Dick’s hand up to his lips and kissing the back of his hand, which had been crushing Jason’s not too long ago. “Absolutely perfect.”_

_But things were not perfect._

_Charlie looked like Dick. Dick’s black hair, Dick’s blue eyes, Dick’s perfect nose, Dick’s dimples… Jason spent a long time staring at the baby, not really seeing any part of the child that was_ him _._

_“He has your forehead,” Dick told him._

_Jason did not see it._

_“He has your chin,” Barbara noted._

_Jason did not see it._

_“He’s got your stupidly big ears,” Damian scoffed. “Dumbo.”_

_Jason shoved him._

_Still, even though Charlie looked nothing like Jason, Jason raised him with love and showed him as much affection as he could. Jason was in love with his son from the second he first laid eyes on him._

_Jason cried when Charlie said his first word – “Bubby”._

_Jason had to leave the room when Charlie’s teeth first started growing in. He even let the baby teeth on his thumb for a while, but when Charlie started biting, Jason had to refuse him, even though it hurt his heart to refuse his kid anything._

_Damian had teased Jason ruthlessly about being soft and weak. Jason did not care. He just smiled and embraced it. Charlie was Jason’s light._

_Dick noticed this too. Charlie loved Jason. Charlie’s eyes would light up when Jason entered the room, and he would often wake up when Jason got back from patrol at the early hours of the morning, as if sensing his father’s return._

_Needless to say, Dick was a little bit jealous. Just a tiny little bit. He wished he could have a special relationship with Charlie as well, but he certainly did not blame Jason for it. It was not that Charlie disliked Dick. No, Charlie loved Dick, but Charlie just connected with Jason like no one else._

_But there was something else worrying Dick. One night, Dick approached Jason about a topic._

_“You need to give up Red Hood,” he said._

_“What?” Jason asked, armor halfway off. “But you already gave up Nightwing. We can’t-”_

_“What if you get shot one day, Jay?” Dick asked. “What if you get shot, and you don’t get up again. What happens to Charlie? What happens to me?”_

_Jason’s eyes went wide, unsure of what to say. “I… didn’t think about that,” he admitted. “I’ve always been careful, Dickie. Even more so now. I’m not going to leave you, or Chars.”_

_Dick shook his head. “I can’t risk it,” he whispered. “I- I don’t want to risk it. Jay… I don’t want to lose you again.”_

_Jason smiled and gently kissed Dick on the lips. “You won’t,” he promised. “If… If it makes you feel better, I’ll stop.”_

_“You will?” Dick asked, looking up at Jason hopefully._

_“If it makes you feel safer, yes,” Jason said._

_Dick smiled, and Jason felt his heart swell with love for the man. He wondered if life could get any better._

_But just as Jason thought things were going well, it started going downhill._

_When Charlie was almost one year old, Jason started drinking again._

_People were often surprised that Charlie was Jason’s. They would look between Jason’s spiky, thicker, black hair and Charlie’s softer hair. They would squint between Jason’s greener, more almond shaped eyes and Charlie’s bright blue, round and curious eyes. Jason’s larger, slightly crooked nose, Charlie’s straight, perky nose. It could go on and on._

_Dick had reassured Jason over and over again that just because Charlie did not look much like Jason that it meant Jason was not his father._

_Jason did his best to ignore other people’s words, just smiling tightly and assuring them that Charlie was his._

_Then, Jason met Kelly._

_God, Jason hated Kelly._

_Kelly was big, tall, and_ strong _. According to Dick, Kelly was the strongest man at the gym. Kelly could easily bench thirty, forty pounds more than Dick could. It also did not help that Kelly was nice. He was so nice. Jason hated him._

_When Dick first introduced Jason to Kelly as his boyfriend, Kelly had seemed so sincere when he talked about how he thought they were a perfect pair and meant for each other._

_Jason hated him more than Jason had ever hated any of Dick’s exes (Jason still had not asked Dick about his supposed relationship with Kelly over a year ago)._

_After meeting Kelly, Jason was plagued with depressing thoughts. He did not want to straight out accuse Dick of… of anything, really. But Jason thought about it. Dick was not the cheating type, but Dick was the serial dating type._

_Was he really not good enough for Dick? Could Dick be keeping him around just to play another parent to Charlie? Was Charlie really Jason’s kid? Jason decided immediately after that thought that whether or not Charlie was biologically his, he would always think of Charlie as his son._

_That entire day, Jason shut himself in on himself._

_It was midnight, and Dick heard Jason still moving around in the kitchen. He went to go tell Jason to come to bed, only to find that Jason had worked his way through three quarters of a bottle of scotch._

_“Are you- Are you_ cheating _on me, Dickie?” Jason slurred._

 _“_ What?!” _Dick exclaimed. “Jason, you’re- are you drunk? What the fuck!”_

 _“That- That Kelly guy… you’re datin’ him behind my back, aren’t you? I bet- I bet you, Charlie’s his kid, isn’t he? And you’re just- you’re just using me!” Jason accidentally knocked over his glass. Scotch spilled all over the table, as Jason tried to stand up, stumbling. “I hate him,” he growled. “I_ hate _him. Charlie’s mine.”_

_“Jay,” Dick said in a low, dangerous voice. “I am not having this conversation with you while you’re drunk.”_

_“I knew it,” Jason hissed._

_“Go take a shower,” Dick said coldly. “Sober up. Then we’ll talk.”_

_Jason grabbed the glass and smashed it on the ground. “I knew it!” he yelled. Dick glared at him. “Why, Dickie?” Jason asked, softly. “It’s- It’s because I wasn’t good enough for you, right? That’s it?” Jason laughed, stumbling past Dick. “It’s because this- this fuck up wasn’t good enough for the golden boy. Heh…” Jason supported himself on the couch. When he looked at Dick again, Jason’s eyes were suspiciously bright. “I knew it.”_

_The thing was, they did not talk._

_The next morning, Dick gave Jason an ultimatum._

_“I know you have a problem with drinking, Jason,” he said. “I don’t want to have a drunkard for a boyfriend.”_

_“I’m not a_ drunkard _, Dick,” Jason said. “And my drinking isn’t bothering you or Charlie.”_

_“Yes, you are,” Dick said. “You need to stop. I should have asked you to stop a long time ago. It’s not healthy.”_

_Jason snorted. “Don’t lecture me on health, Dickie. I’ll cut down on drinking, but I’m not going to stop drinking.”_

_“Then I’m taking my son and we’re leaving.”_

_Jason growled. “Excuse me? I don’t think I heard you properly-”_

_“You heard me,” Dick said simply. “I won’t have you influencing Charlie this way.”_

_“I’m not- I’m not_ influencing _him in any way,” Jason sputtered. “Are you fucking kidding me, Dick? You’re going to threaten me with my son?”_

_Dick tilted his head up in defiance. “If I have to.”_

_Jason glared at him. He wanted to hit something. He wanted a drink. Instead, Jason just turned around. He could not raise his hand at Dick, not now, not ever._

_“Fine,” he whispered. “I’ll stop.”_

_Dick clicked his tongue. “I see,” he said. “I ask you to stop, and you refuse, but I bring Charlie into the equation, and you agree immediately? Jason, is there something you want to talk about?”_

_Jason whirled around. “Yes, actually,” he said. “Is Charlie actually mine?” he asked. “Or- Or is he your gym buddy’s kid? Can you give me an honest answer to that?”_

_Dick’s eyes grew darker with anger. “Are you honestly accusing me of cheating?” he asked._

_“Answer my question, Dick.”_

_“Yes, Charlie’s your kid,” Dick spat._

_Jason said nothing._

_“What, you don’t believe me?” Dick asked. “Are you going to ask to have a paternity test done?”_

_That would be the ultimate betrayal of trust, asking for a paternity test. Jason shook his head. “No, I believe you,” he said hoarsely. He turned around again, shrinking in on himself. “I was just… people always say that Charlie doesn’t look like me, and-”_

_Dick scoffed, running a hand through his head. “Fuck you, Jason. Are you seriously so insecure that you don’t believe me? Are you so jealous of Kelly? He’s just a friend.”_

_“A friend that you dated when we broke up for two weeks.”_

_“I- what? I never dated Kelly!”_

_“Damian said you did,” Jason said sulkily._

_“D-Damian?! You- Why do you believe everyone, but me?”_

_“I’m sorry-”_

_“Don’t,” Dick snarled. “I’m- I’m done.”_

_Dick left the apartment, slamming the door behind him. Jason sank down onto the couch, his head in his hands. A few minutes later, Charlie toddled out of his bedroom, falling all the way to Jason._

_He leaned on Jason’s leg, his head resting on Jason’s knee. “Dada?” he asked._

_“Hey, Chars,” Jason whispered, putting a hand on Charlie’s head._

_Charlie giggled, revealing his mouth of baby teeth. Jason could not help but return Charlie’s smile. “Dada, up up.”_

_Jason reached down and picked Charlie up. He set Charlie down on his lap, and Charlie busied himself with gnawing on Jason’s shirt. Jason smiled fondly and pressed a kiss to Charlie’s head._

_“Whoever your dad really is,” he said softly. “I don’t actually care. Because… Because you’re my son.”_

_“Dada!” Charlie gurgled around Jason’s shirt._

_“I’m sorry you had to listen to Papa and I fight,” Jason whispered. “I promise I won’t ever fight with Papa in front of you again, okay?”_

_“Papa?” Charlie looked around, Jason’s shirt falling from his mouth. “Where Papa?”_

_“He went out,” Jason said. Then, he patted Charlie’s tummy. “You hungry, baby? C’mon, let’s get some food in you.”_

_Jason thought it would be the last time he and Dick fought for a while. But it was not the case. That very night, Dick came back, still mad. He put Charlie to sleep, and then slammed the door to their bedroom, locking Jason out. Jason was mad, of course, and instinctively, he found himself downing glass after glass of whatever alcohol he first got his hands on._

_Dick found out, of course, the next morning. He took Charlie out of the house for the entire day, ignoring Jason’s texts and calls. Jason managed to avoid drinking for three days, but then, he gave in again._

_It was then that Jason realized that he was in way too deep. Dick realized as well. Jason woke up one morning, hungover, and there was a note taped on the kitchen table._

**_I can’t give you any more chances, Jason. In the past few weeks, I’ve given you countless, and you did not take them. So yes, I took Charlie, and I left. Don’t bother coming to find us. I want you to stay away from my son. We’re over as well. Have a nice life, Jason._ **

_It was harsh note. Dick was a harsh man._

_But Jason knew he deserved it. Dick really had given him many chances, and Jason did not take any of it. He deserved it._

_But after reading that note, Jason reached for the bottle, and looked to drown himself in said bottle. Jason blacked out sometime between the opening of the third bottle and the first glass._

_His phone had also died an hour ago, even though he had been receiving several texts from some annoying person._

_It was not until the door was broken down at midnight that Jason finally got some sense slapped into him._

_First, it was a bucket of ice cold water. Then, a very solid punch in the face from Robin. After a few minutes of yelling from the teen vigilante and Jason nearly passing out again, Robin ended up dragging him into the bed, force-feeding him several cups of water, and making him go to sleep._

_Funnily enough, that was the start of Jason’s friendship with Damian._

_For weeks after Dick left, Jason heard no news of him. Jason had a really hard time getting back on his feet. He did not want to eat, he did not want to sleep, he just wanted to drown his sorrows in a bottle._

_But seventeen-year-old Damian was at Jason’s side every step of the way. Jason honestly felt really bad for Damian, especially after Jason threw up all over himself one night, and Damian ended up being the one to clean it up._

_“He doesn’t want me anymore,” Jason moaned, sobbing shamelessly into a pillow. He was drunk again, even though Damian got rid of all the alcohol in the apartment. “He- He took Charlie, and- and I’m a terrible father-”_

_“Shut up, Todd,” Damian snapped. “I’m sick and tired of listening to you whine! If you want them back, get yourself together! Stop drinking!”_

_“You… You really think that’s gunna work?” Jason slurred. “Di- Dick said he gave me ma-many chances, and- and he’s done with me.”_

_“Fucking hell, Todd,” Damian growled. “He loves you, even though he won’t admit it anymore.  You and Charles are the best thing that happened to him! He didn’t want to let you go, but you gave him no choice.”_

_“Pro… Prolly better that way.”_

_It took a few more conversations like that before Jason finally decided to go cold turkey. It was hard, extremely hard, but Jason got into the habit of texting or calling Damian whenever he felt like drinking, and Damian would talk to him about whatever is bothering him._

_Jason once asked Damian what he was getting out of helping him, and Damian had been silent for a while, thinking._

_“You make Grayson happy,” he said slowly. “And… I don’t mind that you’re… around. You’re tolerable.”_

_“Does that mean you like me?” Jason asked, surprised._

_“Of course not,” Damian scoffed. “You annoy the hell out of me, and it makes me want to tear my hair out.”_

_Jason smiled. Damian had a strange way of showing affection._

_Jason managed almost an entire year of sobriety. During that time, he really only communicated with Damian. He talked to Tim sometimes, but not often. Dick, Jason did not hear a breath of a word from._

_Jason had accepted that Dick did not want him back. Jason had accepted that he would never get Dick back. But he still wanted Charlie. He still wanted to see his son, at least one last time. Jason’s greatest regret was that he never got a chance to tell Charlie (or Dick) that he loved him._

_One night, Damian was over at Jason’s apartment (it was just Jason’s apartment now), and they had pizza and video games._

_Out of the blue, Damian said, “He calls Charles ‘Kelly’.”_

_Jason blinked, his finger slipping on the controls, and his character dying on the screen. “What?” he asked._

_“Grayson calls your son Kelly.”_

_“_ Wh- Why?” _Jason asked, utterly confused. The name ‘Kelly’ still left a bad taste in his mouth, and Jason still hated the man named Kelly._

_Damian shrugged. “I don’t know. Kid answers to it.”_

_“Did- Did he change his name?” Jason asked, panicked._

_“No,” Damian said slowly. “Everyone else still calls Charles by his name. Just Grayson calls him Kelly.”_

_Jason took a deep breath, and he swallowed hard. “Oh,” he said, understanding. “I see.” He restarted the game, and Damian gave him a curious look. Jason did not look back, focusing on the video game instead._

_When Jason reached his one year of sobriety, he gathered up the strength, and asked Damian for the address of Dick’s new apartment._

_Damian gave it to him without question._

_Jason sat outside Dick’s apartment building for a long time. He lived only twenty minutes away. Jason took a deep breath and went up, ringing the doorbell to apartment 3C._

_A few seconds passed, then Dick opened the door. He looked Jason up and down, lips pressed tightly together. “You,” he said. “What do you want?”_

_Jason did not know what to say. Dick looked good. He looked really good, and Jason wanted nothing more than to touch him, to kiss him, to make Dick smile again._

_Instead, he swallowed hard and looked away. “I, um, I stopped drinking,” he said quietly. “Haven’t touched a drop in an entire year.”_

_“So?”_

_Jason was kind of shocked by Dick’s response. “S-So… can I- can I get another chance?” he asked. “I promise, I won’t fuck up this time.”_

_Dick’s eyes narrowed. “You promised that last time you came crawling back, begging for forgiveness.”_

_“I- I know,” Jason said. “But I mean it this time. I swear, Dick-”_

_“No,” Dick ended up saying coldly. “Kelly and I are fine on our own. Good-bye, Jason.”_

_“Wait!” Jason called desperately as Dick started to close the door. “Please. Just- Just let me see him? Just let me say…” Jason could not get the words out. He could not imagine that he would actually be saying good-bye to his son and the man he once thought of as his mate._

_“Say what?” Dick asked, almost sounding irritated._

_Jason knew that if he spoke, he would cry. He could not open his mouth. He just stood there, staring at the ground._

_“Good-bye, Jason.” The door slammed in his face._

_Jason made it back to his car before he started crying._

_When he went back home that night, he texted Damian that he was really close to robbing the nearest liquor store. Damian was at his door in ten minutes flat._

_“He honestly hates me, Dami,” Jason sobbed into his pillow. “He hates me!”_

_“He doesn’t hate you,” Damian said tiredly. “Grayson could never hate you.”_

_“You didn’t- You didn’t see him today,” Jason said. “His eyes were so cold, and- and he wouldn’t even let me say good-bye to Charlie-”_

_“Why didn’t you fight for it?” Damian asked. “If you had just pushed a little bit, maybe he would have let you at least_ see _your son!”_

_Jason shook his head. “I… I could hear Charlie playing with toys in the other room, talking to himself. I couldn’t, Damian. I wanted to, I really did. I wanted to demand to see him, but- but I promised not to fight with Dick in front of Charlie. I couldn’t.”_

_Damian frowned hard. “Take him to court then.”_

_“Wh-What?”_

_“Take Grayson to court. Legally, he’s not allowed to keep Charlie from you without the court deeming you unworthy of your child.”_

_Jason’s heart stung at the words “unworthy of your child”. He shook his head. “I can’t do that,” he whispered. “He’d only hate me more.”_

_“God damn it, Todd.”_

_Jason sniffled. “Maybe he’s right, you know? I’m a bad influence for Charlie. I’m not- I’m not good enough to be his father.”_

_“You… You are really, fucking pathetic.”_

_It was another few weeks before Jason managed to wrangle himself back into some semblance of being presentable. He went out grocery shopping, he cleaned the apartment, and he stopped asking Damian to come over every single night._

_One day, however, Damian showed up on at his door without warning._

_“Dami,” Jason said in surprise when he opened the door. “Everything okay?”_

_“I got my own place,” Damian said slowly. “It’s… nice, but I’ve gotta move in.”_

_Jason’s eyes lit up. “Can I help?”_

_Damian scoffed. “Tt, if you’re so desperate for human companionship, I suppose I wouldn’t be adverse to your assistance.”_

_So Jason helped Damian move into his new house. Jason congratulated Damian on moving out at eighteen years old, and he promised that he would try to help Damian, should he ever need it. Damian scoffed and blushed. Jason found himself growing more and more fond of his brat of a little brother._

_Between the two of them, and a few trips to and from the Manor, Jason got Damian moved into his new house by the end of the day. They lounged on the couch, ate take-out, and argued about who was the bigger ass when they were younger and refused to get along._

_They decided that Jason probably was a bigger asshole then, but Damian was definitely the bigger asshole now._

_“Grayson used to bring Charles to the Manor every other week to see me,” Damian said slowly, gauging Jason’s reaction._

_Jason had learned to keep a straight face when people talked about his kid now. He just nodded and continued to eat his noodles, though they congealed in his throat._

_“He said that now that I live closer, he’d bring Charles over every weekend instead. He’s also willing to let Charles stay with me, if he ever feels that he needs a break.”_

_Jason stopped eating then. He set down his box of noodles, biting the inside of his cheek instead. “Well, congrats, Dami,” he said dully. “You’ve officially replaced me as Charlie’s dad.”_

_Damian glared at him. “You didn’t let me finish. I was thinking, if Grayson ever lets Charles stay over, you could… come see him.”_

_Jason looked up sharply. “You’d- You’d do that?”_

_Damian shrugged._

_“Dami…” his voice cracked._

_Damian started blushing, and he frowned. “It’s- It’s nothing. But you can’t make such a big deal about it. And I’ll have to talk to Charles first so he doesn’t go babbling to Grayson the first chance he gets.”_

_Jason felt boneless with relief. He slid to the floor, kneeling at Damian’s feet. He grabbed Damian’s hand and pressed his forehead to it. “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he repeated over and over again._

_Damian quickly pulled his hand away and scooted over. “Tt, stop being so dramatic. I’m still not done. I was going to say, since it’s not going to be every weekend that Charles stays over, you could… write him a letter or something every week.”_

_Jason looked up. “A letter? But Dick would see that it’s from me and-”_

_“Give it to me, and I’ll give it to your son.”_

_“But he can’t read yet. Can he?”_

_“Very little,” Damian said. “I’ll read it to him. And I’ll teach him to write back or something. Play it off as teaching him to read and write.”_

_“Damian, I… I don’t know how to thank you.”_

_“Don’t bother,” Damian said, scooting even further away. “Now eat your food before it gets cold.”_

_Jason grinned, and he pushed himself back up onto the couch. It was the happiest he had been feeling in a long, long, long time._

_And so that’s how it went for three years._

_Damian acted as the in-between man. Once every few months, Dick would allow Charlie to stay at Damian’s house for the weekend, and Jason would pop by for a few hours each time._

_To Jason, those hours were all he lived for. Charlie cried the first time Jason came by. At four years old, Jason realized just how much of his kid’s life he had missed. He started crying as well, and the father-son duo had a hard time stopping._

_Just as Charlie stopped sobbing into Jason’s shirt, their few hours were up. Damian tried giving them as much time as he dared, but he was suspicious that Dick would pop by and check on them sometime during the weekend._

_Jason kept telling Charlie how much he loved him, and how much Charlie had grown, and how much he wished he could see Charlie smile and laugh. Charlie cried even harder when Jason had to leave._

_Jason promised to be back, and he promised to write Charlie letters every single week. Charlie drew pictures at first in response to Jason’s letters. They were mostly pictures of Jason and Charlie walking a dog, or playing in the park, or watching a sunset. When Damian handed Jason these pictures, Jason could not help but lock himself away and just cry._

_They were such simple things that four-year-olds should not be wishing for. They were things that Charlie should not have to yearn to do with a parent. Jason wished that he could do all those things with Charlie._

_So he begged and begged Damian to let him take Charlie out for a few hours, on his own. Damian had been extremely reluctant, but finally gave in._

_Jason drove Charlie to the beach, and they spent three hours at the beach, where they played in the sand, in the waves, at the playground, and Jason bought Charlie as much ice cream as he could eat. When Jason returned to Damian’s house later that afternoon, Charlie was very tired and had fallen asleep. Jason did not want to wake him, so he just passed the sleeping boy off to Damian, and silently kissed him good-bye._

_Charlie woke up though._

_“Daddy? Are you leaving?” Charlie’s sleepy voice asked. “Don’t go…”_

_Jason smiled. “Sorry, Chars,” he said softly. “I have to go. Be good for Uncle Dami, okay?”_

_“Will you be back tomorrow?” Charlie asked, yawning._

_Jason paused. “We’ll see,” he said, knowing he could not come by tomorrow as well. “I hope you had fun today, baby.”_

_“Yeah,” Charlie said, resting his head on Damian’s shoulder. “I miss you, Daddy.”_

_Jason’s heart clenched. “Yeah. Miss you too, Chars,” he whispered._

_Charlie fell asleep again, and Jason left, feeling happier and sadder than he ever had, leaving Damian’s house._

_The first words Charlie ever wrote to Jason was framed on Jason’s wall. In crooked letters were the words_ “I love you, DAbby”. _At the bottom of the page, Charlie signed his name in the same crooked letters._

_Jason smiled every single time he passed it on the way to the kitchen and back._

_The rest of Charlie’s pictures and letters were kept neatly in a box under Jason’s bed. He had labeled the box “Charlie’s Box”, and inside were all things that Charlie had given Jason the few times they see each other every year._

_One day, Damian came storming into Jason’s apartment._

_“Bullshit,” he grumbled. “Such fucking bullshit.”_

_Bewildered, Jason stared after him. “What is it?”_

_“Do you know what next week is?” Damian snapped._

_“Um… Sunday?”_

_“It’s Father’s Day, Todd,” Damian said. “And Grayson refuses to let Charles see you on_ Father’s _Day!”_

_Jason gave a weak laugh, scared that Damian would end up smashing something. “It’s okay, Dami! I haven’t spent a single Father’s Day with Charlie since the first one after he was born! I’m used to it.”_

_“That’s not okay!” Damian raged. “You’re Charles’ father as much as Grayson is, so I don’t see what’s the harm in letting you have a few hours with your son!”_

_“Did… Did you call Dick and ask?” Jason asked with a wince._

_“No, I demanded, and he still said no.”_

_Jason just shrugged. “I told you, he hates me. He’s not going to let me see Charlie. He told me so when he left.”_

_“And you’re okay with that?”_

_“N-No, but there’s nothing I can do about it.”_

_“Of course there’s something you can fucking do!” Damian yelled. “Grayson left you because you couldn’t stop drinking. Well, you stopped drinking, and you’ve been sober for four years! So I see absolutely no reason why he’s keeping your son from you!”_

_“Look, Damian. I get you’re upset for some unfathomable reason. But there’s no point in being upset. I’ll never be the father Charlie deserves, and Dick is. It’s as simple as that. Sure, I spend a few hours playing with Charlie, and he likes me well enough, but… I’m not the father he needs, Dami.”_

_“What the fuck was that supposed to mean?” Damian asked. “You’re mumbling self-deprecating nonsense, and I made no sense of it. Just go ask Grayson yourself! It’s been four years, Todd!”_

_Jason sighed. “If I go ask, and he still says no, will you let it go?”_

_Damian pursed his lips tightly. “Yes,” he finally said. “If he still says no, I will stop pestering you about it.”_

_“Fine,” Jason said. “I’ll go right now.”_

_Jason drove to Dick’s apartment, and he was hesitant, but knocked on the door. There were some muffled noises from the other side, and when the door opened, Jason was surprised to see it was not Dick who opened it._

_Instead, it was Tim, and in his arms was Charlie._

_Charlie’s eyes lit up when he saw Jason. “Daddy!” he screamed, immediately reaching for Jason. Tim quickly passed the wriggling child over, and discreetly wiped slobber onto his pants._

_“Jason,” Tim said. “What’s up?”_

_“Oh, uh, I was hoping to talk to Dick? Is… Is he not here?”_

_“Ah,” Tim said. “He went to the grocery store.” He grimaced. “Hey, do you mind staying here and watching Charlie? I really have to get back to the office. I only stopped by to drop off lunch, and then Dick dumped me with baby-sitting duty, and I’ve got a meeting in ten…?”_

_Jason hesitated. This was his chance to be alone with Charlie. But he also did not want Dick to come back and find him in his house, with his son, get angry, and kick him out before Jason could get a word in._

_“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Jason said slowly._

_“He’s your son,” Tim said. “And he obviously prefers your company over mine. Thanks, I owe you.” And with that, Tim dashed off, straightening his tie as he went._

_“Bye-bye, Uncle Timmy!” Charlie called._

_Jason stared at the open door, wanting to go inside, and see how Dick and Charlie were living. But he could not bear to. It would only make Dick trust him less, and he needed Dick to trust him. So instead, Jason shut the door and slid down to sit on the ground of the hallway._

_“Are we going somewhere, Daddy?” Charlie asked._

_“No, baby,” Jason said. “We’re waiting for Papa to get back.”_

_Charlie’s eyes went wide. “Are you and Papa going on a date?”_

_“What? N-No,” Jason said quickly. “I’m just watching you until he gets back from the store.”_

_“You sure?” Charlie asked. “Papa goes on dates with other people sometimes, and he makes them wait outside while he gets ready.”_

_“Oh,” Jason said softly. “Well, that’s a good idea. Don’t invite strangers into the house.”_

_“Papa says that too,” Charlie said. He paused for a second and then leaned back against Jason. “Daddy?”_

_“Hm?”_

_“Do you love Papa?”_

_Jason was silent for a second. “Yeah,” he finally said. “I love him.”_

_“And you love me?”_

_“Of course, Chars.”_

_“Then why don’t you live with us?” Charlie asked. “You only come see me in secret. And when I ask Papa about you, Papa just changes the suject.”_

_“Subject, Chars. Papa changes the subject.”_

_“Yeah,” Charlie said. “He talks about you a lot on the phone though. With Uncle Dami.”_

_“Does he?” Jason sighed._

_“Yeah. Papa always gets sad after. I think if you and Papa and me lived together, Papa would be more happy.”_

_Jason gave Charlie a smile and ruffled the boy’s hair. “We tried that already, baby,” he said. “Papa… wasn’t happy.”_

_“Why?” Charlie asked._

_“Because….” Jason did not know how to explain it. “Because I wasn’t very nice to him,” he finally ended up saying. “I made Papa very… mad sometimes. Now he doesn’t like me very much.”_

_“Papa likes you,” Charlies said earnestly._

_“It’s okay, Chars,” Jason said. “You’ll understand when you get older. For now, just smile for Papa and I, okay?”_

_Charlie grinned at him._

_Jason smiled back. At the moment, Dick turned the corner, carrying an armload of groceries._

_He froze when he saw Jason sitting on the floor with Charlie._

_“Where’s Tim?” he asked flatly._

_“Um… he said he had a meeting, so he… left,” Jason said. He lifted Charlie off his lap and stood up. “He wasn’t expecting me to come by, I swear. I actually was waiting for you to get back.”_

_Dick narrowed his eyes. “Why are you sitting outside? With Kelly?”_

_Jason winced. “I thought it would be rude to walk into your house when you’re not home,” he said. “And I didn’t think it was safe to leave Charlie in the house alone while I waited outside.”_

_Dick slowly reached into his pocket and pulled out his keys. He struggled a bit to unlock the door._

_“Want me to get that for you?” Jason asked._

_“I’ve got it,” Dick snapped._

_“Okay, sorry.”_

_Charlie leaned against Jason’s leg and looked up at him. Jason smiled down at him and ruffled his hair. Dick finally got the door open. “Go to your room, Kelly. I need to have a talk.”_

_“Okay,” Charlie said slowly, reluctantly detaching himself from Jason’s leg. “Love you, Daddy,” he mumbled before letting go and going inside._

_Dick went inside, and he went to put the groceries away. Jason waited patiently outside the door the entire time._

_Finally, Dick came back. “Well?” he asked._

_“I… I know you don’t like me very much, and you don’t trust me with Charlie, but I was wondering if- if I could take him out next week. A day. That’s all I’m asking for. One day, please.”_

_Dick frowned at him for a long time. “Is Damian going to be there too?”_

_“Uh… no?” Jason said._

_“Then, no.”_

_“Half a day, then,” Jason said. “Give me an_ hour _to take him to lunch. Anything.”_

_“I don’t think so, Jason.”_

_Jason sighed. He nodded slowly. “Okay,” he said. He shoved his hands into his pockets. “Um, tell Charlie I said bye.”_

_Jason turned slowly and made his way down the hall, hearing the door of Dick’s apartment shut behind him._

_He walked very slowly, taking the stairs. It took him fifteen to walk downstairs to the lobby. Then, Jason slowly drove home. Damian was waiting there._

_“Well?”_

_“He said no,” Jason said softly. “I told you.”_

_Damian growled. “The_ nerve!”

_Jason just patted Damian on the back. “I think I’m going to go take a nap.”_

_“In the middle of the day?”_

_“Yup. No better time than the present.”_

_The next morning, when Jason got up, Damian was gone. Jason slowly trudged his way through breakfast, then lunch, and the dinner._

_Then, he put two tickets, tickets he had bought a while ago, and put them in an envelope and wrote a short note, explaining what they were._

_Two tickets for VIP seats at the next baseball game in Gotham. Charlie had told Jason once that he wanted to go see a baseball game played by professionals, and Jason was going to surprise him with them._

_But since Jason could not go with him, he decided that it was probably better to give it to someone who would. Jason licked the envelope shut, put a stamp on it, and stuck it in the mail._

_A couple of days later, Jason got a text from Damian._

**Grayson wants your number. Can I give it to him?**

_Jason gave Damian permission. Then, he waited for Dick’s text. It came soon enough._

**How did you know Kelly liked baseball?**

_Charlie had told Jason a long time ago, listening as Jason did his best explaining the rules and the different positions. But he lied, of course, saying that Charlie told him while they were waiting for Dick to return from the store._

_He bought the lie._

**I don’t like baseball.**

_Jason winced, wondering if he should plead for Dick to bring Charlie. He did end up asking Dick just to take Charlie for Charlie._

**You take him.**

_Jason did not know how to respond. He read it over and over again, waiting for Dick to correct himself. But he never did. So Jason thanked Dick over and over again, and he prepared for a day out with his son._

_It was the first Father’s Day that Jason truly celebrated._

_But that also meant that Damian went right back to pestering him about fighting for custody._

_“Charles is turning five soon,” he said one day._

_“I know,” Jason said. “I bought him a present already.”_

_“Did he ask you for it?” Damian asked._

_“No, but that’s the point of presents,” Jason said. “You don’t_ ask _the person what they want. It kinda ruins it.”_

_“I know what Charles wants,” Damian said softly. “Apparently he only asked Grayson for one thing.”_

_“Oh, well, he’s not going to be spoiled when he grows up.”_

_“Tt,” Damian snorted. “Oh, just wait until you hear what it is. Manipulative little kid. Grayson promised to get Charles one thing he really, really wanted. Told the kid to choose wisely, thinking he was teaching him a life lesson of some sort.”_

_Jason nodded as if he were half-listening, but both he and Damian knew that he was paying full attention._

_Damian smiled wickedly. “Charles asked to spend the day with you.”_

_“What?” Jason asked, looking up. “He- He did?”_

_“Mhm.”_

_Jason looked a lot more crushed than he did ecstatic. In fact, he did not look happy about it at all._

_“Isn’t what exactly what you’ve been asking for?” Damian asked. “Time with Charles?”_

_“Yes, but…” Jason’s throat was closing up. “He- He shouldn’t have to wait until his_ birthday _to ask for that! His birthday is where he’s supposed to be spoiled with- with things he wants.”_

_“Spending a day with you, you’ll surely spoil him.”_

_“He should’ve asked for toys, or to go see a baseball game, or- or something he doesn’t usually get!”_

_“He doesn’t usually get to see his father,” Damian said. “Todd, just stop! Grayson said okay already.”_

_“He did?” Jason whispered._

_“Yeah.”_

_“Stupid, stupid kid,” Jason said, shaking his head. “Tell Dick to take him somewhere. I- I already got him a present. He’ll see me when I give it to him-”_

_“Yeah, for what? An hour? Less?” Damian asked. “Todd, you say you want to see your kid, and then when you get the chance, you don’t want it anymore?”_

_“I want it,” Jason whispered. “I want it so badly, but… Charlie shouldn’t have to_ ask _for it! If… If I had been a good father from the start, he would have had a normal birthday present. He wouldn’t have to waste his one present on me.”_

_“Are you listening to yourself?! Wasting? Charles asked for the one thing he wanted most. To spend time with his dad, whom he only gets to see for a few hours at a time, about five or six times a year. Can you blame him?”_

_“I don’t deserve it.”_

_Damian went silent. He just ended up shaking his head. “You’re pathetic.”_

_But Charlie still spent his birthday with Jason, and Jason spoiled him to no end. He bought him everything he wanted, and Charlie went home with more presents from Jason than all of his other presents combined._

_When Damian asked how their day went, and all he got was Jason’s happy smile, he scoffed and shook his head, which meant ‘I told you so’._

_But Jason should have known by now that all happy things are followed by something terrible._

_A week later, Jason’s apartment burned down._

_It was the apartment he and Dick started their relationship in. It was the apartment where Charlie was conceived, born, and raised for a year. Jason lost everything. His and Dick’s bed. The pictures in the picture frames of the three of them. Charlie’s box of letters and pictures. The framed picture of Charlie’s first written words. They were all gone._

_Jason stood in front of the burning building, watching as firefighters worked to put it out._

_Then, he could not watch any longer. He stumbled into a nearby alleyway and promptly threw up. Then, he collapsed onto the floor for a long time, staring up at the sky._

_He had finally lost everything._

_What was the point of anything anymore? He had tried starting over, without Dick, without Charlie, and he had just barely managed. Now, he had nothing left of them._

_Jason felt an urge deep within him, one that he had not felt for four years._

_An hour later, when Damian finally came by to pick Jason up, he found Jason standing in front of the liquor store, just staring at the neon sign._

_“C’mon, let’s go, Todd,” Damian said, his voice surprisingly gentle._

_“I kind of want to buy out the entire store with my life savings and drink myself to death,” Jason said with an awfully cheerful voice._

_“Stop joking around. You’re four years sober.”_

_“Four years is nothing,” Jason said. “You let me walk in there, and if I don’t die from alcohol poisoning, another four years will pass in a flash. Charlie will be nine years old. Dick will be married to another man. You’ll be settling down with some pretty lady, maybe with a kid of your own. And me? I’ll be right here. Waiting to die.”_

_“What the fuck are you saying?” Damian demanded. “You sound crazy.”_

_“You’re right,” Jason said. “I’m not feeling good. I need a drink.”_

_“Jason!”_

_Jason stopped. His head dropped. “Sorry,” he whispered._

_“Don’t you pull a Dick Grayson on me.”_

_Jason swallowed and nodded. “Yep. I’ll- I’ll just… Thanks for stopping me, Dami.” He started to go._

_“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” Damian asked. “Your apartment burned down!”_

_“Leaving,” Jason said. “Yeah… that’s a good idea. I’m leaving Gotham.”_

_Damian groaned. “Get in the fucking car, Todd. I’m done with your bullshit.”_

_“Me too,” Jason whispered. “Said I wouldn’t pull a Dick Grayson on you. I won’t pretend anymore.” He turned, and his eyes were bright with tears. “I can’t stand it anymore, Dami. You were right all along. I’m pathetic.”_

_“Of course you are,” Damian scoffed. “Now get in the car.”_

_Jason got in the car without a word, and Damian drove them back to his house._

_For the following week, Jason moped around Damian’s house. He barely said any words aside from “yes” and “no”. He just sat on the couch and stared off into space._

_Then, Saturday came along, and Jason was finally jarred out of his daze._

_“Dick and Charlie are coming today, aren’t they?” he asked at breakfast. It was the longest thing he had said all week._

_“Yeah,” Damian said._

_Jason nodded. “I’ll leave then. Text me when they’re gone.” He stood to go._

_Damian glared sharply at him. “They’re coming to see you,” he said. “I told them what happened.”_

_“You told them how pathetic I was?” Jason asked._

_The doorbell rang just then. Damian stood up to get the door, and as soon as he was out of sight, Jason slipped out of the back door. But he sat on the back porch, not bothering to actually make an escape._

_He heard Damian welcome Dick and Charlie inside._

_Charlie’s yell of “Where’s Daddy?” brought tears to Jason’s eyes. He wiped at them roughly._

_He heard them come into the kitchen, and through the open kitchen window, he heard Damian huff. “I told him not to leave, that idiot.”_

_“He… left?” Dick._

_His voice made Jason’s heart clench. God, Jason missed him so badly, especially now that Jason had no physical reminders of him anymore. Everything had burned with his,_ their, _home._

_“He’s convinced that you and Charlie aren’t here to see him.”_

_“But I got Daddy a present!”_

_“I know, Charles,” Damian said. “But your father is stubborn and does not listen to me.”_

_“So he’s gone then.”_

_“I’ll call him,” Damian said. “Don’t go.”_

_A second later, Jason’s phone started ringing. He reached for it immediately, scrambling to turn off the ringer. But it was too late. The back door opened, and Dick was staring at him._

_Jason stood up quickly, taking a step back, his eyes wide._

_“Daddy!”_

_Charlie came charging out of the house, and he leapt at Jason. Jason barely caught him, finally tearing his eyes from Dick._

_“Hey, baby,” he said softly._

_“I got you a present!” Charlie said excitedly. “Papa and I picked it out together.”_

_“Oh,” Jason said, resisting the urge to look up at Dick. “You didn’t have to, Chars.”_

_Charlie’s expression became solemn. “Papa said you lost your home.”_

_“I… did,” Jason said. “It’s okay though. I didn’t lose the most important things.” He gently stroked Charlie’s hair._

_“Oh, that’s good!” Charlie said. “What would you do if did lose them though? Could you get another one?”_

_Jason swallowed hard. “No,” he whispered. “I would… probably do something really bad.”_

_“Like what?” Charlie asked._

_Jason gave him a tight smile. “Why don’t you go show me that present you’re talking about.”_

_Charlie was easily distracted. He jumped up and went tearing back into the house. Dick still stood in the doorway, looking at Jason._

_Jason slowly trudged up the steps, towards Dick. Dick did not move out of the way. Jason knew that Dick overheard that entire conversation._

_“I’m sorry about your house,” Dick said tightly when Jason neared._

_Jason nodded and looked down. “Well… I’m just glad no one got hurt.”_

_“Damian told me that he found you in front of a liquor store that night.”_

_Jason winced. “I didn’t-”_

_“I know,” Dick said. “He told me what you wanted to do.”_

_“I said it in the spur of the moment. I didn’t actually mean I wanted to buy out the liquor store and drink everything. I was-”_

_“I wasn’t talking about drinking the whole liquor store,” Dick interrupted yet again. Jason finally looked up at him. Dick’s eyes were strangely pained, like it hurt him physically to look at Jason. Jason wanted to disappear right then and there._

_“Right…” Jason said, having no idea what else Dick was talking about. “Well… whatever I said, it was a joke.”_

_“It better fucking be,” Dick said. “I won’t have-” He cut himself off and shook his head. “Never mind.”_

_At the same time, Charlie called to him. “Daddy!”_

_Jason left Dick standing by the door, and he found Charlie in the living room, holding a large teddy bear._

_“This is for you!” Charlie said struggling to keep the bear off the ground. It was the same size he was._

_“Oh… thank you so much,” Jason whispered, sitting down. “I love him.”_

_Charlie smiled and blushed. “I made sure to kiss him lots, so then when you’re feeling sad, the bear can pass one of my kisses over to you! Like this.” Charlie pressed the bear’s face forward so that its snout touched Jason’s cheek._

_He smiled. “Thank you, Chars.”_

_That very night, Jason packed up his sparse things._

_“I’m leaving,” he told Damian. He set his phone down on the table. “Thank you for everything.”_

_“Todd, where are you going?” Damian asked, standing up and following Jason to the door. “You don’t have anywhere to go-”_

_Jason gave Damian a smile. “Do me one last favor? Don’t tell Dick. Please.”_

_“That you left?” Damian asked. “He’s going to find out one way or another,” he said._

_“For a while at least,” Jason said. “And when you do tell him... make sure Charlie’s not in the room. I don’t want- I don’t want Charlie to know.”_

_“So what?” Damian asked. “You’ll never tell Charles? He’s never going to know where his father went?”_

_“Tell him when he’s older.”_

_“Todd, you’re making a huge mistake!”_

_“My life is made up of huge mistakes, Dami,” Jason said calmly. “This isn’t going to make much of a difference.”_

_“You’re not even going to take the bear?”_

_“Doesn’t fit,” Jason said. “Thanks again, Damian.”_

_“Todd!” Damian yelled one more time as Jason started down the driveway._

_Jason saluted him as he turned and walked down the street. Then, he was gone. Just like that._

_Damian waited. He waited for days, waiting for Jason to come back. He never did. But Damian did not need to look very far to find out where Jason went._

_A couple of weeks later, the front line of the newspaper, in bold letters, were the words,_ Red Hood Back After Five Years??

_For a couple of months, Jason went completely silent, cutting himself off from everyone. The only way anyone knew that he was okay was to wait for the next piece of news on the Red Hood. Damian even spent a week out on the streets as Batman, searching for Hood, but there was no sign of him._

_He really was avoiding them._

_Jason on the other hand, he was taking risks and chances, he knew that. He was not quite in the shape he used to be in, but in a way, Jason preferred that. If he died, it would be his own fault._

_Damian would have surely punched him for it, but Jason thought it was a somewhat acceptable response to his situation. After the first night out on the streets, Jason felt that he should have gone back into the business way sooner._

_The exhilaration, the adrenaline, the blood, and the sweat were all things that Jason strangely missed. Jason felt alive._

_He had been hiding in one of his old bunkers for the past month, and he made sure to be very certain he would not run into anyone else._

_Damian tried looking for him, but Jason hid from him, not looking forward to being yelled at by Batman, again._

_But one night, Jason was sitting on top of the Wayne Enterprises building, just sitting there, feeling the wind whip through his hair._

_Suddenly, someone landed quietly behind him. Jason whipped around and was on his feet in a second._

_“Just me.”_

_Jason’s eyes widened behind his domino. He took a step back._

_“You’re-”_

_“Yup.” Nightwing sat down next to him. He took a deep breath. “I’ve missed it up here,” Dick said softly._

_“I thought you gave up Nightwing,” Jason said slowly, still not quite believing his eyes._

_“I did,” Dick said. “And you gave up Red Hood, didn’t you?”_

_“Y-Yeah,” Jason said. “I gave up Red Hood because you asked me to. For you and Charlie.”_

_“So what am I supposed to take of this?” Dick asked, his tone cool and slightly accusing. “Should I expect you dead by the end of this week?”_

_“It’s… probable,” Jason said. “But I’m good, so it’s a small chance.”_

_Dick was silent for a while. “What do you want me to tell my son when he asks where you are?”_

_“Tell him I left,” Jason said immediately. “He’ll be sad for a bit, but… I think he’ll be okay.”_

_Dick laughed humorlessly. “For a bit.”_

_Jason frowned. “If I died, it would just be a repeat of the first time,” Jason said. “I know. He’d only be sad for a bit.”_

_“Why? Because you think you’ll come back again? And then he’ll be happy?”_

_“No,” Jason said. He sighed. “Because everyone was only sad ‘for a bit’, when I first died, Wing. Death’s nothing special. One person’s death isn’t going to change someone else’s.”_

_“Does Bruce know that?”_

_“He watched his parents get shot in front of him,” Jason said. “It’s different. Charlie won’t see me die. And even if he did…”_

_“What?” Dick demanded. “If he did, what?”_

_“He’s young. He’ll forget.”_

_Dick’s hands were curled in fists now. “Why do you think that?” he asked coldly. “He’s five. I can remember when I was five.”_

_Jason snorted. “I’m some absent figure in his life, Wing. The total amount of times he’s seen me is equal to how much he sees you in a week alone. I’m not constant in his life, and I know it. I know what I’m getting into, and I know how it’ll affect him.”_

_“Okay, if you can predict how Kelly would react, can you predict everyone else’s reactions?”_

_“Yes…” Jason said slowly. “Damian would probably curse me at my grave. Tim might just stare stoically and say nothing the entire time. I don’t expect the girls will cry. They’re not the crying type. I hope Bruce and Alfred don’t even find out. They’re both… getting older.”_

_“And me?”_

_“You?” Jason considered it. “Well, I think you’d comfort Charlie. Tell him that death is natural, and he should be glad it wasn’t you that died.”_

_“Excuse me?”_

_“I wasn’t insinuating that you could die-”_

_“Hood, I’m not_ heartless _, you know. I’m not going to be so- so apathetic if you died.”_

_“Would you be happy then?”_

_“_ What?!”

_“If I were you, I’d be happy,” Jason said softly. “Wouldn’t have to deal with me knocking on your door every couple of months begging to see Charlie.”_

_Dick said nothing in response. He was still gripping the edge of the building tightly. His lips were pressed together tightly, and almost every muscle in his body was tensed._

_“Just- Just stop talking,” Dick said. “I- I can’t stand you anymore. Are you_ blind _, or do you just not care about Kelly?”_

_“I- what? I love Charlie very much,” Jason said. “I know I have no right being Charlie’s father, but I still regard him as my son.”_

_Dick stood up after that. He just shook his head and then leapt off the side of the building, falling, falling, falling and then shooting the line and swinging into the night._

_~_

Jason finished moving things for Tim in the late afternoon. Despite Tim’s offer to get him a taxi, Jason decided to walk.

He went the long way, going all the way around Old Gotham Park. He strolled through the park, his hands shoved in his pockets, just deep in thought, as he generally was. Jason had been thinking about a recent case, wondering whether he should bother going out tonight to see if the perpetrators were up to no good again.

He passed the pond, and he watched a mother duck lead her squabble of ducklings across the path. They stumbled and fell over each other, quacking in their little voices as they went.

As Jason kept going, his thoughts drifted to Dick and Charlie, as they usually did if Jason was lost in thought long enough.

Jason passed Little Oaks, the kindergarten Charlie attended. Jason’s walk slowed as he passed the playground.

Jason had missed Charlie’s first day of school. In fact, Jason had never even seen Charlie at school, with his backpack, running out of the doors when the bell rings, sliding down the bright red slide…

Jason stopped in front of the fence surrounding the playground of the kindergarten. His fingers laced through the chained fence, and he sighed. He imagined Charlie running around on that playground.

He wondered what Charlie would do. Would he play on the slides? The swings? The sandbox? Sit under the tree and talk?

Jason also imagined Dick standing where he was, smiling and waving to Charlie. He imagined Charlie running up to Dick at the fence, and Dick bending down to tell Charlie to have a good day at school.

Later that night, Jason sat at the dinner table, across from Damian, poking his pasta with his fork.

“You’re thinking too loud,” Damian complained, setting down his chopsticks. Damian ate everything with chopsticks, and he did it because it annoyed the hell out of Jason. It was strange enough that Bruce ate a burger with a fork and a knife, but with chopsticks?

Jason rolled his eyes. “Then stop looking at me. Then you won’t know I’m thinking.”

“Tt. I can still _feel_ it. Your depressing thoughts are mucking up my kitchen.”

“Uh-huh.” Jason pushed his pasta a bit more.

Damian huffed. “Just get it out of you,” he grumbled. “It’s making you put off all these angry… pheromones.”

“I’m not a _dog_. I don’t put off _pheromones_ , Dami.”

“Well, you’re getting me agitated with whatever you’re thinking, so just spill!”

Jason smiled the tiniest bit. Damian would never actually say the words “you can talk to me if you need to”.

He pushed his pasta around for a few more seconds, and then set his fork down.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking today.”

“About what?” Damian asked.

Jason shrugged casually. “Everything leading up to today, I guess. Mostly the past five years.”

“More specifically?”

“Dick. Charlie.”

“As your pathetic mind usually does,” Damian muttered.

“But no, you see, I don’t think I’ve done anything to improve this world, Dami.”

Damian stared hard at him. “I don’t know what you’re saying.”

Jason gave a slightly exasperated sigh. “Since I came back from the dead, I’ve really done nothing useful. I’ve done some pretty terrible things instead. Nobody even _liked_ me.”

“Nobody likes you even now,” Damian grumbled, though he glanced away when he said that.

Jason ignored him. He had gotten good at ignoring Damian’s underhand jabbing insults. “I’ve just been thinking… maybe things would be better if I hadn’t come back from the dead.”

Damian said nothing.

So, Jason continued. “Maybe Dick would have fallen in love, had a kid with someone else. Like his old gym buddy. And Charlie might be a bit different, but I can’t imagine by much. He’d have two parents that would dote on him and-”

Damian smacked him. Jason had not been expecting the younger man to hit him, so he had not been prepared. Damian hit him a lot harder than necessary, and Jason could feel his face burning in the shape of Damian’s palm.

“Shut up,” Damian growled. “Charles would not be Charles if he were not your kid. And Grayson’s ‘gym buddy’ you’re always so jealous of? He’s just Grayson’s friend. I lied when I told you Grayson was dating him. I wanted to get you to act before it was too late. Why are you so thick that you cannot even tell that Grayson was happy with you, Todd?!”

“He was not happy with me! He’s still not happy with me! Damian, relationships _end_. There’s nothing else to it! Stop being so obsessed in getting Dick and I back together again!”

“ _I’m_ obsessed?!” Damian yelled. He stood up and glowered down at Jason. “You’re the one who still pines day and night over Grayson. You _told_ me that he ‘still makes my knees weak’. You’re the one who can’t let go and move on, Todd!”

Damian stormed out of the dining room, leaving Jason to sit there, all alone with his cold plate of pasta.

Jason sighed heavily. He had a feeling he should not stay the night. Damian was obviously upset with him, and Jason was just intruding at this point. He stood up and quietly cleaned up the food, packing up the leftovers and sticking them in the fridge. Then, he washed the few dishes and dried his hands.

Jason then grabbed his jacket from the couch, and went to go get his phone from his room.

He noticed that Damian had removed the coffin sometime during the night. Jason shivered, remembering the momentary panic he had woken up to that morning. He grabbed his phone, and he headed for the door, passing Damian’s bedroom on the way.

He heard Damian yelling inside, talking on the phone with someone.

Jason paused, trying to hear what Damian was talking about. But Damian had soundproofed his room last summer, and Jason could not make out anything intelligible.

So he just sighed and started to go again.

Just as he reached the door, Damian’s door crashed open, and he stormed out, still angry. “Grayson agreed to let you have Charles for the weekend. Well, just tomorrow.”

“Wh-What?” Jason’s eyes went wide.

“I’m not repeating myself,” Damian said in irritation. “Now go get your kid before Grayson changes his damn mind!”

“Are you- Are you serious?” Jason asked.

“Do you want me to hit you again?”

“Yes, please.”

Damian rolled his eyes. “Don’t tempt me. _Go_. And if you don’t get back soon, I’ll eat all the fucking pasta out of spite.”

Jason never sped his car down Damian’s street faster in his life.

Jason was very glad that the unpredictable elevator of Dick’s apartment decided to work. He nervously tapped his foot all the way up to the twelfth floor, and when Jason found apartment 3C, he did not hesitate to knock.

Dick pulled the door open almost immediately.

“Hi,” Jason said breathlessly, unable to stop smiling. “I, um, I’m here to get Charlie?”

Dick pursed his lips, but turned over his shoulder to yell, “Kelly! Your dad’s here to get you!”

“Daddy!” Charlie squeezed his way between the door and Dick’s legs, and he leapt at Jason, hugging him tightly around the legs. “Are you’re really going to take me to Uncle Dami’s? And take me to school on Monday?”

“Yeah,” Jason said, ruffling Charlie’s hair fondly. “Yeah, I am.”

“He’s got some homework to do,” Dick said in a clipped tone. “Make sure he completes it before school. And he’s not allowed sweets after 8 PM. He also tends to try to weasel his way out of brushing his teeth.”

Jason nodded at Dick. “Got it,” he said. “Um… thanks, Dick. Really. I… This means everything to me.”

“Yeah, well-” Dick cut himself off. “I will pick him up after school on Monday.” Then, his expression turned softer. “Be good for Uncle Dami, Kelly,” he said.

“Yes, Papa,” Charlie said.

“Gimme a kiss, Kels,” Dick said, tapping his cheek and leaning down. Charlie gave Dick a quick peck.

Then, Dick nodded and started to close the door. Jason grabbed Charlie’s hand. “Ready to go, big guy?” he asked.

Charlie beamed up at him and nodded.

They took the elevator down to the lobby, and Charlie waved at people as they passed. Jason took Charlie’s hand tightly and looked both ways before quickly running across the street to where his car was parked.

“Daddy! Can we go get ice cream first?” Charlie asked. “There’s ice cream shop just around the corner, and it’s got _tons and tons_ of toppings!”

“Ice cream?” Jason asked thoughtfully. It was nearing eight, and he knew that Dick just said no sweets, but it was the first time Charlie was staying with Jason all day. “Sure, why not.”

“Yay!” Charlie cheered. “C’mon, let’s go!”

Charlie led the way to the street corner, where sure enough, there was a small ice cream parlor. They went inside, and Jason agreed to get Charlie two scoops, in a cone.

He himself got a single scoop of vanilla ice cream in a cup, and he got some vegan chocolate chip for Damian.

As they walked back to Jason’s car, Charlie chattering away happily as he licked his strawberry and cake batter ice cream, Jason noted that he had unconsciously gotten vanilla ice cream.

Jason himself rarely had ice cream, as he was slightly lactose intolerant, and too much dairy usually have him bad stomach aches. But back when Jason and Dick lived together, their freezer was always stocked with vanilla ice cream – Dick’s favorite.

Suddenly, Charlie gasped. “Daddy! Is Papa coming to Uncle Dami’s with us?”

Jason snapped out of his thoughts. “Hm?” He looked up to where Charlie was pointing and saw Dick standing by his car, arms crossed, and not looking very happy at all.

“Did you not listen to me when I said Kelly’s not allowed to have sweets after eight?” Dick asked curtly.

“It’s just once, Dickie,” Jason said. “I rarely see him, and I just wanted to spoil him-”

“He’s going to get into the habit of knowing you spoil him, and he’ll just keep coming to you every time he wants something!” Dick hissed. He shook his head. “You know what? Forget about it. Kelly, let’s go home.”

“But Papa! Daddy and I were going to Uncle Dami’s!”

“I know, but we’re changing our plans. You have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow that I forgot about.”

“I’ll take him,” Jason offered. “It’s not too big of a deal.”

Dick glowered at him. He pressed his lips together. “I don’t have you listed as one of Kelly’s guardians.”

Jason stared at him for a second. He swallowed hard. “Oh.” Slowly, he let go of Charlie’s hand. “Well, I guess it can’t be helped then.”

“Daddy…?” Charlie asked, staring at Jason wide eyed as Dick grabbed his now free hand. “We’re not going…?”

“Not today, bud,” Jason said. “Your Papa made plans already. Gotta stay healthy, right?”

Charlie started tearing up. “But-”

“C’mon, Kelly,” Dick said softly. “Let’s go. It’s not safe out here, so late at night.”

Jason watched, his heart sinking lower and lower in his chest as Dick led his son away from him for the second time that day. Jason honestly wished that when he woke up that morning, he had really been buried six feet underground again. Maybe he would suffocate before clawing his way out this time.

Charlie kept turning and looking back at Jason. Jason just gave him a sad smile and waved.

Then, everything happened quickly. Out of the alleyway, a man dressed in all black came running out, a gun in the air, pointing at Dick’s back.

“Give me all your stuff!” the man screamed, his gun hand shaking hard. He had a wild look in his eyes, scared to the point where he would pull the trigger at any small move.

Jason did not think. He just acted.

He saw a gun pointed at the two people he loved most in the world. Jason only did what his mind was screaming at him to do.

Jason’s heartbeat pounded in his ears, the only sound he really heard as he ran forward.

He threw himself in front of the bullet.

One, two, three times the gun went off.

One, two, three times, the bullets hit their mark.

Jason heard screaming echoing in his ears as he collapsed onto the cracked pavement. Gravel dug into his cheek, but he could not feel it due to the white-hot pain that zapped his body of all other feeling.

Someone was screaming. It was not him, Jason was pretty sure. He could not breathe. He tried to breathe. There was an explosion of red as he tried to suck air into his burning lungs. Jason was not sure whether the burning was due to the three bullets lodged where they were not supposed to be, or because he was deprived of air.

Maybe both.

The red made Jason feel queasy. So, he closed his eyes instead. Something in the back of his head was telling him _not_ to close his eyes. Or maybe it was real, Jason really could not tell anymore. He just knew that the black of his eyelids was preferable to the red.

Soon, the white pain in his body dulled, and it all faded to black.

Jason would have smiled if he could. Black was good. It was like… falling asleep.

~

Charlie sniffled quietly as he curled up in Dick’s lap in the badly cushioned seats of the ER waiting room. His arms were wrapped tightly around Dick’s neck. Dick himself held the child tightly as well.

He wanted to be sobbing and screaming and acting as hysterical as he felt, but his child did not need that right now. Dick had to act strong for him.

“Is… Is Daddy goin’ to die?” Charlie whispered, hiccupping softly through his tears.

Dick did not know how to answer that. He could not lie to Charlie and say no. But he also could not tell his child that Jason was indeed, probably going to die.

“I- I don’t know, baby,” Dick whispered back.

“I don’t wan’ him to die,” Charlie whimpered. “D-Daddy promised he’d- he’d ta-take me out on a- on a trip soon, and- and-” Charlie’s voice became more and more unsteady.

Dick wanted to sob. “I know, Kels. I- I know.”

“Is Da-Daddy go-goin’- goin’ to die be-because of me?” Charlie asked, his voice barely above a choked whisper.

“No!” Dick said, his already crushed heart only being smashed further. “Of course not, baby. Daddy’s… No, no, Kels.” Dick pressed his trembling lips to Charlie’s forehead.

It was not Charlie’s fault. It was Dick’s fault. He was the one that had changed his mind and chased Jason down, demanding for his son back. He was the one who pulled his crying child away from his other father. It was his fault they caught the shooter’s attention. It was his fault Jason jumped in front of the bullets for them.

Dick could not bear to think of Jason lying alone on his deathbed, not again, and on the same damn day.

For a horrible second, a voice in the back of his head asked him what he would do if Jason’s really did die today, again.

Dick let out a soft sob, grateful that if was muffled. Dick had the hardest time forgiving himself the first time, and Jason had come back to life then. Dick would never forgive himself this time, especially since it was directly his fault and there was no way he could deny it.

“Pa- Papa?” Charlie whispered.

“Yeah, baby?”

“Wh- Why do you and Daddy live apart?”

“Because we’re not good together,” Dick said.

“But you- you both love each other, right? And people who- who love each other live together, right?”

Dick winced silently. “…Yes, but your dad doesn’t… love me.”

“Yeah, he does!” Charlie said, pushing himself up a bit to look up at Dick. “He- He told me so.”

“Does he now.”

“Yeah! All the time. D-Daddy says that he loves me an’- an’ Papa a whole lot. I asked him if- if he loves us more than the whole world, and he said yes,” Charlie said earnestly.

Dick stared at his son, those wide, hopeful eyes, rimmed red from crying. Dick just gave him a pained smile and tucked his head back against his chest. “Go to sleep, Kelly. It’s been a long day.”

“But Daddy…?”

“I’ll wake you up if he wakes up.”

“’kay,” Charlie whispered.

Dick kept silent until Charlie fell asleep, then, he started crying. It was a quiet, regretful, sort of crying.

Dick regretted a lot. After he kicked Jason out, Dick had been terrified about raising a kid alone. And when Jason came back, asking for another chance, Dick was scared that a year was too little time, that Jason would go right back to the way he was before. More years passed, and Dick saw that Jason _was_ sincere, and that he really did want Charlie.

But Dick… Dick was selfish. He had gotten it in his head that Jason was just going to take Charlie away from him. Jason always had a special connection with Charlie that Dick did not have. Jason could steal his son away from him, and Dick would have no one.

So as much as Dick loved Jason, he had to pretend to hate him. And he convinced himself that Jason no longer cared about him, since all Jason seemed to care about was Charlie.

Now, Dick regretted not giving Jason another chance. He regretted not letting Charlie stay earlier that morning. He regretted demanding for Charlie back just an hour earlier.

If he had not done that, perhaps Jason would still be living normally, without the help of machines to help him breathe and to help his heart pump.

Dick ended up driving Charlie to the Manor, where he asked Alfred to take care of him. Dick then fell onto the couch, where he sobbed out what had happened. Alfred was worried, Dick could tell, but he still tried to comfort Dick.

Dick would not allow himself to be comforted. He rushed back to the hospital. When he arrived, he found that Damian was there as well, pacing the length of the room angrily. He glared at Dick when Dick entered. Dick ducked his head and could not bear to face his younger brother. They both knew whose fault it was that Jason got hurt tonight. At one in the morning, the nurses finally allowed them to go see Jason.

Damian, though he glared daggers into the back of Dick’s head the whole time in the waiting room while Dick sobbed quietly, allowed Dick to go in alone.

The nurses warned him to be quiet because Jason was barely stable and alive.

Dick stumbled into the room, and he crashed into the chair set by the hospital bed.

Jason was hooked up to machines from every limb, and his chest was wrapped up in layers of gauze. Dick clutched his hand over his mouth, trying not to cry.

“Jay…” he whispered, daring to pick up Jason’s hand. “I’m… so, _so_ sorry. I-” Dick could not say anymore. There were no excuses. He had no valid excuses. He had been a right asshole, and he very well knew it. He made Jason absolutely miserable for his own selfish reasons, and in the end, it was still Jason, selfless Jason, who paid for it.

“Just- Just one,” he whispered shakily, pressing his forehead to the back of Jason’s hand. “Just give me _one_ more chance, Jay. I- I know I never gave you that chance when you asked for it, and you’ve given _me_ so many chances in the past four years, and I never- I never took them, but now… I just has for _one more_. I swear I will make the most of it, Jay, I _swear.”_

The nurses ended up ushering Dick out after a few minutes, saying Jason’s state was really too delicate to be allowed visitors. So Dick ended up back outside the waiting room. This time, Damian was sitting down in one of the seats.

Dick sat down next to him, both of them staring straight ahead.

“I’m sorry,” Dick whispered.

Damian did not say anything for a second. Then, he said, “He’s going to be okay, Grayson.”

“But if he’s not… it’s my fault.”

Damian did not deny it, but held Dick while Dick cried on his shoulder until he fell asleep.

When Jason was officially stable and was most likely going to live (by some miracle), Dick cried tears of joy to the point where Damian had to go to the nearest convenience store and buy him a pack of tissues.

Another few days later, when Jason woke up, Dick became too terrified to visit him. So he stayed away, thinking it would be for the better.

~

“Daddy!”

Charlie ran sobbing to Jason’s side, immediately starting to crawl up onto Jason’s bed.

Damian held him back. “No, your father is hooked up to many machines right now. Just sit here and talk to him.” He dragged the crying kid off of the bed and put him into the chair.

Jason was tearing up as well. “Hey, Chars,” he said weakly. “Are you okay?” He had a very hard time getting the words out, and they were usually slurred, partially due to the thing helping him breathe, since one of the bullets grazed his lungs, and partially due to the morphine they pumped in him.

“I- I’m okay,” Charlie whimpered. “But Daddy was shot! I- I saw blood, and- and Daddy fell, and Papa tried to wake you up, and you wouldn’t wake up, and Papa was crying, and I was crying, and I was scared, and- and-” Charlie burst into tears.

“Oh, baby,” Jason whispered.

Damian sighed. “Sorry, I thought he could handle it.”

Jason attempted a smile. “Where’s… Dick? Is he okay?”

“Pa- Papa’s f-f-fine,” Charlie sobbed. “Buh- Buh Daddy-!”

Damian looked very displeased suddenly. “Grayson’s fine,” he said. “Unhurt, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Jason nodded. “Good,” he said. He felt tired, and when Damian left the room with Charlie, Jason did not know.

~

“Why don’t you go visit Daddy?” Charlie asked in the car when Dick picked him up from kindergarten, and they were on their way to the hospital. “You always just wait outside.”

Dick sighed. “I… I did some very mean things to your dad,” he said. “I don’t know if he will forgive me yet.”

“Oh,” Charlie said, and Dick thought that was that.

But then, Charlie dragged Dick into the hospital, threatening to throw a fit in the middle of the busy waiting room if Dick did not go with him into Jason’s room.

As soon as the door to Jason’s room opened, Charlie stomped inside, Dick in tow, protesting quietly. He stopped when he saw Jason, sitting up, and reading.

“Daddy,” Charlie said. “Do you forgive Papa?”

Dick refused to look at Jason, instead, staring at the floor.

Jason blinked, confused. “What… does he need me to forgive?” he asked.

Charlie looked up at Dick expectantly. Under his child’s gaze, Dick had no choice. “Wait outside, okay?” he asked Charlie softly.

Charlie smiled and nodded. He left the room, closing the door behind him.

Dick slowly went over to the chair by Jason’s bed and sat down. He was aware of Jason’s gaze on him.

“I- I’m sorry,” Dick ended up blurting out, tears welling in his eyes already. “I’ve been- I’ve been _horrible_ to you, and it’s absolutely unforgiveable, but-”

“It’s okay,” Jason said. “You don’t need to apologize. I get that I’m not good enough to be Charlie’s dad, so I understand your decision to keep me isolated. I’m just… happy you didn’t shut me out completely.”

Dick choked out a surprised sound amidst his sobbing. “That’s- That’s what you think of yourself? Is that what I’ve done?” He reached up and ran his hands through his hair, pulling. “I didn’t think- I didn’t think you’d- you’d think that way because of what I did. I… _god_ , I would give my life to reverse it all.”

“Don’t joke about that,” Jason said harshly. “I nearly lost my life to save yours and Charlie’s, so don’t go endangering yourself again.”

Dick shook his head. “I- I can’t believe you’re grateful with the fact that you only get to see your son a handful of times per year, despite living not twenty minutes away. I can’t believe you think you’re an unworthy father. I can’t believe you, with all the training you have, knowing a thousand way to unarm someone, threw yourself in front of a gunman and nearly died. It’s… all my fault. All of it.”

“No, Dick-”

“Yes, it is! Charlie loves you so much, and he tells me that every day. He adores you to no end, and he could not have a _better_ father than you! I- I can’t even begin to compare! You’re Charlie’s number one in this world, Jay… and I nearly took that away from him,” Dick said bitterly.

“You… You called him Charlie.”

Dick sniffled and wiped at his eyes, not looking at Jason at all.

Jason gave a small smile. “Dickie, you’re an amazing father. You raised Charlie singlehandedly, and the best thing you could have done for him was to kick me out-”

“I don’t-”

“No, I’m right,” Jason said. “I would have been that horrible, drunkard father if you had let me stay. When I realized everything I had lost, it was what made me decide to quit. To try and win you guys back. You saved Charlie, and you saved me. I think the title of the best father goes to you. I haven’t done anything. I didn’t go to any of Charlie’s birthday parties, or congratulate him when he lost his first tooth, or hold his hand on the first day of school, or anything.”

Dick cried even harder. “Because it’s my fault! Why can’t- Why can’t you see that, Jason? It’s my fault you never experienced any of it!”

Jason frowned slightly. Dick was crying so hard now that he was heaving, and Jason was worried he would pass out. “Shh… breathe, Dickie,” he said softly. “It’s okay, just _breathe.”_

“Stop- Stop trying to comfort me!” Dick said, his voice growing shrill. “It’s all my fault, and it hasn’t been your fault for years!”

Jason eventually gave up trying to calm Dick down. Instead, he just sat there and watched until Dick managed to stop crying and was reduced to just dry shudders.

“Dickie… I jumped in front of those bullets because I love you, and I love Charlie. I… wasn’t thinking rationally, I’ll admit. I just got scared when I saw someone pointing a gun at you, and my mind just… forgot everything. I didn’t think. But I would throw myself in front of a thousand bullets for you.”

Dick started tearing up again. Just then, Jason announced, “I’m tired. I think I’m going to take a nap.”

And with that, Dick was ushered out of the room confused as ever, but somehow, feeling a bit better.

The very next day, Dick returned to the hospital to visit Jason. He had recomposed himself, and he was not a sobbing mess.

“I want to make up for lost years,” he said as soon as he sat down. “But I have no idea how to make up for anything I’ve done to you.”

Jason looked at him with wide eyes. He thought about it for a second. “Seeing Charlie more often would be nice…? Maybe he could stay weekends every… other week?”

“I- I meant,” Dick stammered, suddenly nervous when he realized that Jason misunderstood him. “I want- I want to try _us_ again. We could… raise Charlie together. If- If you want.”

Jason is shocked. His heart rate spikes, and the machine starts beeping like crazy.

Dick is kicked out by the nurses before he gets an answer.

But when Dick returned the next day, with a large vase of flowers, Jason had had a lot of time to think about Dick’s proposition.

“Yes,” he said as soon as the door closed. “I want to… to try again. With you, and with Charlie.”

Dick beamed, his hands shaking. He had to set the vase down before he dropped it, scared Jason, caused his heart rate to spike, and be kicked out for the second day in a row. “Really?” he asked. “Us, together?”

“Yeah,” Jason said. “I like the sound of that. Us, together.”

~

When Jason was released from the hospital, he was sent to recover at the Manor, at Alfred’s insistence.

Dick and Charlie visited every day, after Charlie got out of school. On the weekends, Dick and Charlie stayed the night.

On those nights, Charlie would climb up into Jason’s bed, curl up at his side carefully, and Jason would read him bedtime stories until Charlie fell asleep.

Then, Dick would come in, pick up the sleeping Charlie and move him into his own room. Then, Dick would come back in and say good-night to Jason. Sometimes, “good-night” meant long talks together, with Dick lying on his back at the foot of Jason’s bed, or it meant milk and cookies like when they were younger. Once, Dick fell asleep in the chair while talking to Jason, and Jason did not have the heart to wake him up, so he slowly stumbled over, laid a blanket over Dick’s body, and went to sleep himself.

After the third week at the Manor, Dick tentatively asked Jason to move in with him.

Jason had been unsure at first, but with Dick’s hopeful looks, Charlie’s enthusiastic questions, and Damian’s slightly threatening glares, Jason agreed.

However, after he moved in, Jason refused to sleep in Dick’s bed. He was firm on his decision to take the couch every night.

“I’ll take the couch, and you can have the bed,” Dick offered.

“Nope,” Jason said. “I’m taking the couch. If you want a couch, get your own.”

Dick quirked a small smile, but it quickly melted away. “But… you’re still hurt. You shouldn’t be sleeping on the couch.”

“I’m fine,” Jason said. “Just a bit tight. Now go to sleep. I’m tired.”

“But, Jay-”

“I’ll be fine, Dickie,” Jason said, giving Dick his best reassuring smile. “Go. I need to get used to this… whole living together thing again.”

Dick swallowed his disappointment. “Okay,” he said.

And for another couple of weeks, that was how their sleeping situation went.

Until the night Charlie got nightmares.

Jason woke up to Charlie crying softly next to him. Immediately, Jason propped himself up and gently touched Charlie’s cheek, wiping away his tears. “What’s wrong, Chars?” he asked. “Why’re you crying, baby?”

“I- I had a- a nightmare,” Charlie said, hiccupping. “I thought- I thought you- you died, Daddy!”

Jason winced. That jumping in front of bullets thing really was looking like a stupid decision in retrospect. He did not consider the effects it would have on his five-year-old son to see his father get shot and nearly bleed out in front of him. He nearly made another Bruce Wayne. The thought chilled Jason to the bones.

“Can I- Can I stay here tonight?” Charlie whispered. “I don’t wanna go back to bed.”

“I- There’s no room on the couch, Chars,” Jason whispered. “How about I stay with you until you fall asleep?”

Charlie shook his head vigorously. “No,” he whispered.

“Why don’t you go sleep with Papa instead?” Jason asked.

“ _No_ ,” Charlie said, his tears welling up again. “I don’t- I wanna stay with you, Daddy.”

Jason sighed. “Okay,” he said. He sat up and patted the spot on the couch next to him. Charlie climbed up and curled up at Jason’s side. Jason pulled the blanket around them. “This okay?”

“Yeah,” Charlie said, closing his eyes. “I love you, Daddy.”

Jason kissed the top of Charlie’s head. “Love you too, baby.”

When Charlie fell asleep, quite quickly, Jason scooped him up and carried him to Dick’s room. Jason noted that Dick slept solely on the left side of the bed, the same side that was deemed “his” side when he and Jason first lived together and shared a bed.

Jason gently set Charlie down next to Dick, pulling the covers over them both. Jason smiled a little, remembering how Dick had the hardest time staying under the covers while he slept.

He tucked them in, and pressed one last kiss to his forehead. As he straightened, Charlie stirred, his eyes blinking open.

“D-Daddy?” he croaked. “Are you leaving?” He started sitting up to follow Jason.

“No, no,” Jason whispered. “I’m just going to go to the couch.”

“No,” Charlie whimpered. “Stay. I don’t- I don’t want you to go.”

“I’m not going, baby, I’m just-”

Just then, Dick started stirring too. He opened his eyes and saw Jason there. “Jay?” he whispered.

“Please stay, Daddy,” Charlie pleaded.

Dick rolled over to face them. “Stay, Jay,” he whispered. “Stay with us?”

Jason looked from blue eyes to blue eyes, startled still by the similarities. He could not say no to those blue eyes. So he pulled back the covers and crawled into the bed beside Charlie.

Charlie immediately snuggled close.

Jason pressed his face into the pillows, the ones that smelled so much like Dick. Jason started crying softly. It had been so long since Jason fell asleep to Dick’s scent and presence.

Back in their old apartment, even when Jason lived there alone, he slept decently because the blankets still kind of smelled like Dick, and their bed was imprinted with Dick’s body on the left side. It was almost like he was still there.

But now, Dick really was there, just inches away, his face so real and so close. Jason could feel his breath on his lips, and his eyes piercing into Jason’s own.

“Daddy?” Charlie asked, his voice soft and tired. “Why’re you cryin’?”

Jason smiled, and he kissed Charlie’s forehead. He looked back up and saw Dick smiling at him as well. “I’m happy, Chars,” he whispered.

“I’m glad you’re happy with us…” Charlie yawned. “’m happy… both of you… are happy.”

Jason felt Dick tentatively reach out with his legs, his notorious cold feet, and gently touched Jason’s calf.

Their legs tangled together naturally, and somehow, it felt more intimate than any kiss.

Charlie was drifting off quickly. “We’re all happy… together…” He smiled, with his eyes still closed. “That’s all I’ve ever… wanted.”

**Author's Note:**

> I thought this would be... I don't know, 3k, 4k, maybe 5k words at most? I am, as always, a very bad judge of fic length. Also, I know I said no more angst, but I've been feeling pretty good lately, so I think I can handle this. And, there has been a severely lacking amount of JayDick heavy angst recently, in my opinion. So as always, here I am, saving the day, and giving you a reason to pour out those tears.
> 
> (And I know, I know, it's not April 27th anymore, but again, this fic got out of control okay)
> 
> But hey, it ended happy! <3


End file.
